I can’t say enough about Tom Burns and his almost celebrity status that he has earned for himself amongst the online community who love and respect t shirt artists who bring their A game with every design. This guy has a golden touch and never seems to run out of ideas. I think I have a ton of ideas but can’t draw worth a shit. This leaves me crippled because most artists want money upfront for the design as opposed to royalties down the road unless the t shirt website is ballin out of control like Luckythreadz…..  I mean Loiter. That is right people, my second favorite t shirt website next to Wizeguyztees has changed it’s name to Loiter.com and has taken the internet world by hostage with an unofficial marriage with the hottest graphic designer in North America until someone can step up and claim this title from him.  This guy takes a healthy shit in the morning,,, looks at it before he flushes and sees another golden idea to go and draw. Ten minutes later the Johnny Baker turns into another golden hit for the Loiter family to print and sell to all of it’s loyal fan base. They run the site very simple too, with no blog, no community shit like Threadless.com. They just post pictures of t shirts and sell the hell out of them and they now have the Tom Brady of the t shirt world banging out hits left and right.  All I ever seem to see when I take a dump is some unhealthy looking chunks of shit. I am still trying to get my imagination to the level of Tom Burns but it is a long road for me to play catch up at this point and then I still have to get around the small issue that I can’t draw a stick figure without hurting myself. I really love the fact that Loiter sells funny ass t shirts and now they offer them on loads of different types of clothing such as long sleeve, short sleeve, etc.  What they also do now is they offer wallets with designs on them and Tom Burns has even come out with some cool glow in the dark sticky designs to put on your walls and ceiling for the next time you hit the bong and decide to sit in your room for the rest of the night you can now be entertained like never before.  I would much rather get laid but that is probably just me. I am sure millions of Americans would rather get stoned and sit in their rooms which is why Tom Burns has released these wall images. I have to roll out some pictures of my recent favorites from my second favorite t shirt website so here we go.

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I was surprised to find this t shirt site popping up on so many different google searches that I did tonight. They would be on the first or second page of major keywords and I never clicked on them because the name doesn’t give me any idea of what to expect. Well tonight I clicked on it and decided that I had to cover this page for all the people out there who love extreme offensive t shirt designs. This one just might give T Shirt Hell a run for its money in my opinion and it would be hard to find any of their designs that you could where to your next family reunion. The price in the U.S. is $20 bucks and they offer a higher quality Hanes blank that they print on.

I decided to start with my favorite one first as this one would appeal to the masses I believe. Everyone by now can relate to Myspace and this design is right on target for the college kid looking for a rise out of some fellow students. Not sure if this will help in your pursuit to get some trim but if you need a shirt for that than you probably have little game anyways. The next few designs get a little more raw.

Merch313 really gets your attention with these designs and we really have not gotten to the ones that reach extreme. For those you need to follow this link.  There were some semi-porn designs that I didn’t feel like putting on the blog but they did get a small laugh out of me. They also have a very strange banner ad at the bottom of the site that I thought was another t shirt site but ends up being a porn site with chicks that all have nipple piercings and look like they love Marylin Manson music. They do offer a buy 3 get 1 free offer which is cool and they have some funny designs like the next couple.

Merch313 brings it for the hardcore offensive t shirt lover who loves to get stares from whoever  is in the room. This will definitely get all the attention you could ask for. Not sure if the attention is high quality but you will get it anyway. Please sign up to the blog and get connected by leaving comments.

Ever heard of Pocket Rocket Tees? Me either until I found it doing a search using the keyword rude tees on google. I had to go to about the 7th page before I found a new t shirt site that caught my eye and this is what I got out of it. I was first hooked from the slutty looking hoes that they used to model the t shirts. But I have to admit that some of the t shirts were fairly funny. I decided to let them do most of the talking since you probably wouldn’t want to just take me at my word so I will let you decide.

So far so good right? I mean who wouldn’t want a women who shot the bird at the next family reunion, right? The t shirt for dude is actually my favorite one. I tea bagged your mom last night. Not sure why he is grabbing his balls and smiling but what ever works I guess. In case you can’t make it out, he is holding a tea bag in the other hand which is what he used on your mom I guess. All shirts just $13.99. I looked all over the site and could not find that they mention what kind of brand they use but they describe them as though they fit like an American Apparel t shirt would fit. Hopefully, Joe the Vagina who blew up my blog post about torsopants won’t find out what kind of t shirt brand they are and decide to put his Vagina juice all over my blog comments.

If you are going to write something offensive towards the way I cover or don’t cover a story, please grow a pair of nuts and leave your email address or blog url so I can return the favor. Don’t be a FAG and spakle my blog with liquid shit and then leave with no paper trail. It really makes me wanna call you out like I am now to Joe the Vagina.

Anyways, back to the pictures,

This one is my second favorite as I have been the victim of defaulting back to Plan B back in my younger days. It can happen to the best of us and I think the originality of this design is what makes it stand out to me. I have not seen anyone put out a theme like this although any real man should be able to recall a time when he went below his standards to get his peter wet. As for the woman above, well I think she is doing a good enough job getting your attention so I won’t spend any time talking about her.

And the rest is history after leaving you with these last two designs. I am going to go relieve myself so I hope you all can find time to head over to pocketrockettees for a chance to see the entire stock and maybe even order one of their t shirts. If you would like to leave me a comment telling me why you like or hate them that would be great. Please subscribe to my blog if you took the time to read this whole post as there is a chance you might like my creative writing and I love to see my numbers go up in the feedburner icon.

I was messing around like I always do about this time and found an interesting link to click on from the most offensive t shirt site I have ever seen, tshirthell. They have a huge banner add in the middle of the site called Torsopants. I clicked on it and found an equally offensive t shirt site. It seemed like an extension of tshirthell, although I could not find where it said that anywhere so I am only assuming the two are connected. I would say tshirthell has better t shirts but there were a couple that I found somewhat funny.

The coolest thing about this site is all the different links that you can click on. The feel of the site is very professional and I get the feeling that either a good amount of money went into designing the site, or the person who owns the site is a webmaster and spent a shit load of personal time on the design. It has a buy none get one free promotion which I had never seen before and then it also has a pretty interesting affiliate program that anyone can sign up for. At $19, I would be interested in knowing what kind of t shirt do they print on. If it is a Hanes type tee, forget it, but I would expect something much nicer like American Apparel but I could not find this information anywhere. Check out this design.

As you might start to see, this is hardly the in your face style that tshirthell brings so it might just be that someone came at them with a great $$$ offer to advertise and they might have nothing to do with each other. I can’t tell. I find this to be soft humor but the next one is the closest to being over the edge that I could find.

I think this might be my favorite one although, I can’t say that any of them make me feel like grabbing my credit card and ordering them right away. I did want to cover them because I am always looking for new t shirt stores and this one was all over the tshirthell website. Do you think 50 cent would sport this t shirt at his next concert?

How You Like Dem Apples?

Crazydogtshirts ranks #1 on Google under the keyword funny t shirts. Now I know rankings seem to change all the time, but that is impressive coming from a t shirt blogger who also has a fascination for SEO skills. I had to start with this one because the design is pretty funny and I could see chicks liking this one. I also admired the way they have the website set up. Some websites, like mine for the moment look like they might be brand new t shirt companies but Crazydogtshirts comes off as a company that has been here for several years already. They offer different types of sales such as the $10 clearance icon. They also have a buy 4 t shirts and shipping is $6 bucks, which I did not think was such an amazing deal myself, but It still counts as a promotion and that makes it part of the point. They also displayed all their social networking icons at the top which was kinda like what you would see on a blog but this was displayed on the top of the homepage. I noticed they are showing off a I Love T Shirts icon which is a facebook store page that has gotten some nice attention from other t shirt bloggers because of how impressive of a list they have displayed on the page. If you don’t know what I am talking about you owe it to yourself to click on Ilovetshirts.

This is the list of my personal favorites. I give a Middle Finger Salute to Crazydogtshirts for all the offensive and funny designs that they put out. I am more impressed with the Google placement since I know how hard it is to rank in the first page of Google for such a competitive keyword as funny t shirts.

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